Work in 2 hours' time but i may end up quitting.First day at work really did put me under the pressure.Being in the industry whereby you've to provide an efficient service is really tough.I've learnt a lot on the first day of work.I've come to know the struggles behind earning money.Trust me, i'll rather sit for O's 10 times than work.It's pretty tough, it's not an easy path when you're in the workforce.First day of work was alright.Lyn was an awesome teacher, she taught me everything and showed me around with patience.Sharon, the one who employed me was pretty good too.She believed i could excel in this job, she wants me to carry on.She was telling me about a co-worker who started off the same way and now has grown to be a full-timer and a good worker who puts in his utmost effort.
After all, i wanted to pursue this.Tourism/ Hospitality has always been the line i've wanted to enter in the future.I chose this job after some serious consideration cause there's a lot i can learn in this line that'll come in handy when i start working.But i never knew that working in a bar/ restaurant could be this tough.Yes, i was all excited about working cause it's my passion but i started feeling lousy when i had to lead this guest to the garden area.I felt lost? Though i got her to the right place and had her seated, i didn't know what to do.Maybe i'm not cut out for the F&B industry.People working there're really friendly.Serene, Lyn, Logain and some others (quite not sure of their names) but you know i just feel lousy? I know i've to start from the bottom in anything but i feel like this is not for me.You know, the working life is just very stressful.Meeting people, providing a good service, making people's day has always been what i wanted to do that's why i want this to be my career but .. i feel somehow tired.It was just my first day at work and i know, maybe i'm just feeling the stress and it's TOO early to quit but i don't know whether i can carry on.
I had a breakdown last night after work.Thank god, i could confide in Hari about this.Thru out my 16 years, i've never confided that much in anyone cas i've this feeling that once you confide in someone, that person knows everything about you.Your weakness and such and then they'll have the ability to break you down.But i was feeling so lousy that i just told him everything that has been weighing on my mind.True enough, i felt better after hours of crying and telling him about my problems.I can't do anything much other than thank him for staying up thru out the whole night till noon today.He was telling me that i shouldn't quit just after a day especially if this is what i want to do in the future but i just feel the pressure? And this is not all.I've to learn many other stuffs.The restaurant side, cashiering, about serving wine, taking orders, about the different kinds of bars, about Happy hour(ok this one i know), answering calls, showing the guests to their tables and such.There's a lot.And yesterday was just the beginning.Just learning about the table numbers sent a chill down my spine.After a while, i forgot everything.It's a big place.Maybe i'm just not familiar with the whole place.I know working in a bar sounds cool and such but it's really tough.You've to know everything.It's tough, really tough.
It's a good place to learn but maybe i just can't take the stress, you get it? I spent the whole night thinking about this.I wanted to VERY badly drag myself there and endure everything but on the other hand, i'm not able to.You know the kind of feeling where you feel so lousy? Like you just wanna freaking runaway and never return.I was feeling that way.I couldn't wait to knock off.If i want to reach my workplace, i've to leave at 4pm+ and now it's already 4:30PM.I think that's it.Melanie and Vimalan are saying that i should endure but i don't know, i just feel like giving up.I know you wouldn't reach the peak of the career overnight or something.Everyone takes time to learn, some just slower but i don't think i'll ever learn.I feel stupid.I feel stressed.I told myself no matter what comes, i'll endure but you see, i'm not even half-way thru and i'm already giving up :( Deep down, i really want to endure and get myself back to work today but i'm unable to .. i don't wish to face more stress today.And plus tmr is New year eve and there're a lot of reservations for the bar and what if i'm stationed there and i make really stupid mistakes? I'll totally break down you know :(
I think i'm really gonna quit.I'm sorry for being such a letdown or maybe .. i'll go back tmr.I really want to endure and prove that i can do it but i don't know .. my willpower is very weak.Like 0.0000000001%.The learning part is the hardest.Giving up half-way ain't always the solution but i'm just .. you know tired.Anyway i'm not strong enough to get myself back to work today.Fever.Stress causes fever? SIGH CAN I STOP BEING SO WEAK, I NEED TO BE STRONG :(
I don't know.I'm confused, really confused.I wanna sleep thru all this.
[/Edited: Done with my first job.I regret quitting.Despite all that Sharon said, i still ended up quitting.But anyway thanks @Melanie @Vimalan @Dorothy @Hari @Sharon for telling me to endure.I'm sorry .. i just felt like giving up.But i've learnt a lot.About how to serve wine, take orders and such.I'll never forget this experience.I promise to persevere in my next job.I don't know how long am i gonna take before i find another job but the next time around, i'll not give up this easily.]