I'm already feeling terrible enough so don't expect me to reply back to your messages or attend to your calls cause i promise i wouldn't.I'm not in the mood to entertain anyone.I feel so disappointed in myself.I did put in the effort that's why i got B(s) for all my subjects except for Math which i freakin' failed and that pulled me down totally thus i'm not eligible for ANY poly courses.It sucks ok.I did so well for my other subjects and just cas of Math .. i'm like a goner.I feel like giving up on everything now.Like all the courses available to me are ITE courses.No, i don't look down but ITE then to Poly isn't easy at all and plus that'd take like what, 5 years? I FEEL LIKE DYING.I don't know what should i do now.I feel so confused.Like this has been in my mind since i got my results back.Re-take Math? MDIS? BMC? Self-study? ITE? Overseas? Deep down inside, i've already made a decision but the thing is .. would i be determined to make it the second time around? Would i pass? I really don't know.Everyone seems to have some story to tell me at this point of time so that i wouldn't give up.But thanks to @Prabu, for you know, listening to me.Half the convo was full of I don't know(s).Seriously i don't know.
I feel fed-up.I wanna give up!!! How am i to make it thru this? Would i have the discipline to sit down and revise for hours? Would i have the determination and not give up half-way? What if i .. don't make it? Wouldn't that be a year wasted? What if 2011's paper is gonna be way more difficult than 2010's? What if i go ITE and don't get a good GPA? Then i can forget about entering Poly.Which private school am i enrol myself in? MDIS? BMC? I SERIOUSLY DON'T KNOW WHAT AM I GONNA DO.Awesome thing is i've only 3 more days left to decide.I'm getting myself off from work till Thursday cas i need to ponder over all this.If i wanna re-take, i've to get myself back on track.The school mode but just self-studying, you get it? I've to put in MORE effort this time around since it's only one subject.I NEED TO PUSH MYSELF.I shouldn't give up.You know how difficult is that? I need to put everything else aside and concentrate.I DON'T KNOW HOW AM I GONNA DO THAT.I don't know whether is it in me.I'm feeling more stress than ever! I didn't feel like that even when i was sitting for O's! The moral of the story is, never give up on Math cas even if you get B(s) for your other subjects, it wouldn't help :( I'm stuck at a point where i really do feel like giving up! I want to like just cry, you know cry? :'( As much as i know this is the period when i shouldn't be giving up, i really want to give up.Feeling so tired.
As much as i don't wish to think about this now, I HAVE TO.Registration for private O's only in March? Think i'm calling up MOE to clear my doubts.But you know re-take .. i forgot everything about Math.Sigh messed up!!!!! :(
Happy with my other subjects but sigh :( What i need to do tmr:
1) Plan out what i REALLY wanna do. (Re-take or ITE)
2) IF i re-take, what grade would i wanna aim for?
3) How am i gonna go about self-studying?
4) IF i go ITE, what course am i to take that's related to Tourism?
5) Would i be motivated to get a good GPA and then go to Poly from there?
6) Am i prepared to work hard during the 2 years in ITE?
7) WHAT DO I REALLY WANT?
Been hearing comments that if you go ITE, you'll lose the motivation and everything.I don't know .. i seriously don't know.Stereotyping? I don't know.I've ALWAYS wanted a good life so i'll work towards that goal for sure but i'm afraid i'll give up when it's too much for me to take.I'm scared.You know the kind of stress an Express student faces when he/she fails to do well in O's.It's just way too much for me to take.Yes, i know some who have been always failing Math and then thru hardwork and determination, they get a good grade during O's but i don't know whether i can do it.What counts at the end of the day is, DETERMINATION.Sigh i don't know.I wanna runaway from all this.I don't know .. bye.