Been feeling a bit down since morning all because of what the boy told me earlier on once i woke up. He's getting deployed just two days before my birthday which is on the 16th and i don't know how to feel now. I'm just kinda or wait, really disappointed because he promised to spend my birthday with me and now this news...i've lost all the excitement/mood to celebrate my birthday. Now all i probably am gonna ask for is to stay home with a good sleep, like just me and my bed. He's gonna be gone for months. No definite return date. Might be for 4 months or so. I'm already starting to feel empty. I mean, who am i gonna have daily calls with? Who am i gonna argue with over the stupidest shit? Who am i gonna share my problems with? Sigh, fuck this shit.
I'm already stuck in some deep shit or maybe, not. I'm just going through a very rough/bad patch in life with my ex and i really could do with the boy around. He can't do anything to help me or anything but at least i feel at peace with him around but now... sigh. I'm gonna be missing him so badly. I don't know how my days ahead are gonna be like without him, le sigh.
12:17am now and i can't get to sleep because i'm just feeling so down. I just pray that everything goes well and he returns by the end of the year. Sigh, i don't know. No mood to continue blogging, xoxo.