I've been dying to blog for the past few days but i've been so caught up with so much shit. I think i've finally reached the point where i'm so fed up with every single shit you're putting me through. I've finally decided to give it all up. For 1 year and 2 freaking months, i tried and tired. I put in every single effort to salvage this relationship, to make this all work out again for the second time but i've realized it takes two to tango and that i can't fight this battle all alone anymore. Go ahead, do whatever you want. Go ruin your life. Go get another girl. Move on with your freaking life. I don't give a fuck anymore or at least, i'm gonna pretend that i don't give a fuck about you anymore. All your sweet talks, all our small little jokes, all your empty promises and all those times we talked about the future boils down to nothing in the end.
I can't believe i actually typed out such a long text to you on the 4th of Feb and up till this day, this minute of the freaking day, i've not received any reply from you. I can see how much you care from this. Don't say you love me or anything anymore because love means nothing to you compared to your problems. Go, go be a jerk and break more hearts. Well, anyway, in the end, you guys get away with every single shit you do. It's the girl who ends up suffering most of the times. You know what's even more fucked up? That you guys keep coming back to us because you know that no matter what shit you do, we, girls, would still take you back. Are you guys sick up in the mind? How is it that you can make so many empty promises just for the sake of making promises? How is it that when you're chasing after a girl, you do your sweet talking? Why is it that after a guy wins over a girl, he stops putting in the effort he used to put in when he wanted to win over the girl? Does it mean that once you win over a girl, it doesn't matter whether you put in the effort or not? We girls aren't toys to be played with and then thrown away. WHAT THE HELL HAS HAPPENED TO KARMA? Being shot is too easy a death for you jerks. You jerks deserve a horrible and a slow death that would put you through more than 10 times the misery you put us girls through.
Call me being heartless or mean but lemme tell you, you're the cruel one here. You casted me aside because of your problems. You come back as and whenever you wish. This is not a freaking hotel room. I'm not a freaking doll to be thrown away after you've grown tired of me. What do some guys mean by, "i'm tired of you, let's break up" Would you like it if i gave you the same treatment? No, right?
What has happened to the sweet, caring and thoughtful guy i used to know? How did you change so much? Have you not been noticing the efforts i've been putting in for the past 1 year and 2 months? Are you telling me the 19 months mean nothing to you? Thank you so much for this. I never expected you to be like this. I expected so much more from you. You've brought me to a state where i'm so afraid to trust another guy, where i'm so afraid to go into another relationship - i'm scared to start all over again, to put in the efforts because i don't wanna go through the same thing ever again. I'm scared of being hurt. I'm scared to open up myself to another guy. I'm scared to try. I'm scared to fall. I can't bring myself to trust another guy even if he really means everything he says. ALL BECAUSE OF YOU.
I just want to go away to another country where i'm gonna meet unfamiliar faces. I wanna make new friends and create new memories. I wanna erase all of your memories off my mind. I wanna show you that i can be happy even without you by my side. I wanna let you realize what you lost. I want you to regret everything you did to me. I want you to regret letting me go. Because trust me, when i finally find that one guy one day and be happy with him, YOU'RE GONNA LIVE TO REGRET IT. Like the saying goes, "you'll never know what you had until you lose it."