A lot has happened from the last time i blogged. I wouldn't say i've moved on totally but i'm just trying to get back up, again. It's not easy because i still love and miss him. Called him a couple of times earlier no but he didn't even bother to answer. Looks like i really can give up uh? If this is what you wanna do then fine, go ahead. And do you know how it feels like when you can't trust the one who loves you just because of one guy who promised a lot and has disappointed you in such a way that you can't even think about trusting another guy ever again.
Accepted this guy into my life rather reluctantly. I'm scared i'd mess up things like how i messed up things between me and Karthik. I'm scared my insecurities would take over me and i would just fuck up things again. I wouldn't say i'm madly in love with this guy but i don't wanna lose him, ever. I'm so tired of playing around, of always breaking up. I wanna find someone who really loves me and is gonna treasure me. It's tiring.
It's 2:26AM and i've been feeling down ever since yesterday. Don't ask me why because i don't know the reason. I just feel miserable..idk, idk what am i even feeling. I'm just waiting for the day when i can finally runaway to Australia and probably never ever return. Maybe if everything goes well between him and me, i might reconsider my decision but..idk, i just want things to go well now xx.