† RIN▲XV▲LENTIN▲

Your alcohol heroine ;) Been quite some time since i did a proper update. Did i mention i've gotten myself a proper job, a proper position finally?! Finally a F&B group recognized my experience, qualifications and efforts in the industry and offered me a position as a crew leader. Starting this Wednesday and i'm actually pretty nervous. I know that imma senior head bartender at a bar and that i manage the bar team but i'm pretty nervous about this whole thing now, again. Oh well, imma work hard because i'm only 19 this year and being offered this position at this young age is pretty awesome to start with and so, i shall prove some people around me wrong and work myself up the ladder of success. Good luck to me xx.

Got way too many surprises going around me and one got me really happy. I found ma alcohol hero, heh! ^^ No, he ain't my boyfriend or anything now but idk what is this gonna bring but this might just turn into something beautiful real soon, hehe! The boy and i haven't been talking much because he claims he's that busy with work and camp but idk wtf is exactly going on in his mind and i'm so, SO tired of caring and trying. I'm handing it over to Jesus and i'm sure he'll lead me to the answers i'm currently seeking for. Gonna side-track a bit now but i love how parachute by Cheryl cole seem to perfectly suit the situation i'm currently stuck in.

I don't tell anyone about the way you hold my hand

I don't tell anyone about the things that we have planned

Won't tell anybody how you turn my world around

I won't tell anyone how your voice is my favourite sound

Love those lyrics man! 1:02am and i can't really sleep because my dear wisdom tooth has finally caught up with me and it's hurting like a bitch or wait, worser than a bitch and to add on, it's causing me to run a pretty high fever. My fever went all time high yesterday hitting more than 39 degrees. Thanks to all those who showered me with a lot of care and concern, i'm pretty touched by the smallest thing everyone did to get me through the past few nights which were really, really emotionally draining. I nearly gave up on my life, on everything because my relationship is so messed up right now and maybe once again, it's all my fault for being a bad girlfriend. I don't know, i'm sorry. I don't know how to love you the way you love me. I don't know how to love you as much as you love me but trust me, i would love you with all that i've got. I'm sorry that i don't know how to trust the people around me, especially those who claim to love me a lot. Because the one who destroyed me is the one who once upon a time claimed to love me a lot too. There's no guarantee that you're gonna love me forever, right? If you saw the ugly side of me that weren't that pretty, would you still love me..? It's a question forever left unanswered and maybe i would choose not to know the answer because idk when is someone lying and when someone is speaking the truth. The humans are a weird lot and to sum it all up, i'm just scared. Maybe one day, i would learn to love again. But right now, just assure me that you're here to stay, please? 

That you and i could learn to love again after all this time
maybe that is how i knew you were the one
That you still could believe in me again after all our trials
maybe that is how i knew you were the one

xx