Hmm, so, it's a New year in another 8 hours' time.No mood to celebrate this New year, i'm gonna be stuck at home for the 1st time.Not feeling good plus mood is slightly towards the bad side.This is not the way to start 2011 but i'm sorry to have disappointed those who called me down to Marina bay/ Attica or dblO.Whatever i did for the past few weeks has taken its toll on my body.
The resolutions i've made are the kind of not really thought thru ones.Anyway i wouldn't live up to them but one would be to definitely move on and carve out a brand new life for myself.I'll not bother myself about M anymore.It's time we both moved on.To be frank, 2010 has been quite a roller-coaster ride.But i guess i'm going to accept reality as it is and quit running away.I'm tired.This'll be over, someday, right? We both at least tried.It's over.
Thursday, December 30, 2010
Tough.
Work in 2 hours' time but i may end up quitting.First day at work really did put me under the pressure.Being in the industry whereby you've to provide an efficient service is really tough.I've learnt a lot on the first day of work.I've come to know the struggles behind earning money.Trust me, i'll rather sit for O's 10 times than work.It's pretty tough, it's not an easy path when you're in the workforce.First day of work was alright.Lyn was an awesome teacher, she taught me everything and showed me around with patience.Sharon, the one who employed me was pretty good too.She believed i could excel in this job, she wants me to carry on.She was telling me about a co-worker who started off the same way and now has grown to be a full-timer and a good worker who puts in his utmost effort.
After all, i wanted to pursue this.Tourism/ Hospitality has always been the line i've wanted to enter in the future.I chose this job after some serious consideration cause there's a lot i can learn in this line that'll come in handy when i start working.But i never knew that working in a bar/ restaurant could be this tough.Yes, i was all excited about working cause it's my passion but i started feeling lousy when i had to lead this guest to the garden area.I felt lost? Though i got her to the right place and had her seated, i didn't know what to do.Maybe i'm not cut out for the F&B industry.People working there're really friendly.Serene, Lyn, Logain and some others (quite not sure of their names) but you know i just feel lousy? I know i've to start from the bottom in anything but i feel like this is not for me.You know, the working life is just very stressful.Meeting people, providing a good service, making people's day has always been what i wanted to do that's why i want this to be my career but .. i feel somehow tired.It was just my first day at work and i know, maybe i'm just feeling the stress and it's TOO early to quit but i don't know whether i can carry on.
I had a breakdown last night after work.Thank god, i could confide in Hari about this.Thru out my 16 years, i've never confided that much in anyone cas i've this feeling that once you confide in someone, that person knows everything about you.Your weakness and such and then they'll have the ability to break you down.But i was feeling so lousy that i just told him everything that has been weighing on my mind.True enough, i felt better after hours of crying and telling him about my problems.I can't do anything much other than thank him for staying up thru out the whole night till noon today.He was telling me that i shouldn't quit just after a day especially if this is what i want to do in the future but i just feel the pressure? And this is not all.I've to learn many other stuffs.The restaurant side, cashiering, about serving wine, taking orders, about the different kinds of bars, about Happy hour(ok this one i know), answering calls, showing the guests to their tables and such.There's a lot.And yesterday was just the beginning.Just learning about the table numbers sent a chill down my spine.After a while, i forgot everything.It's a big place.Maybe i'm just not familiar with the whole place.I know working in a bar sounds cool and such but it's really tough.You've to know everything.It's tough, really tough.
It's a good place to learn but maybe i just can't take the stress, you get it? I spent the whole night thinking about this.I wanted to VERY badly drag myself there and endure everything but on the other hand, i'm not able to.You know the kind of feeling where you feel so lousy? Like you just wanna freaking runaway and never return.I was feeling that way.I couldn't wait to knock off.If i want to reach my workplace, i've to leave at 4pm+ and now it's already 4:30PM.I think that's it.Melanie and Vimalan are saying that i should endure but i don't know, i just feel like giving up.I know you wouldn't reach the peak of the career overnight or something.Everyone takes time to learn, some just slower but i don't think i'll ever learn.I feel stupid.I feel stressed.I told myself no matter what comes, i'll endure but you see, i'm not even half-way thru and i'm already giving up :( Deep down, i really want to endure and get myself back to work today but i'm unable to .. i don't wish to face more stress today.And plus tmr is New year eve and there're a lot of reservations for the bar and what if i'm stationed there and i make really stupid mistakes? I'll totally break down you know :(
I think i'm really gonna quit.I'm sorry for being such a letdown or maybe .. i'll go back tmr.I really want to endure and prove that i can do it but i don't know .. my willpower is very weak.Like 0.0000000001%.The learning part is the hardest.Giving up half-way ain't always the solution but i'm just .. you know tired.Anyway i'm not strong enough to get myself back to work today.Fever.Stress causes fever? SIGH CAN I STOP BEING SO WEAK, I NEED TO BE STRONG :(
I don't know.I'm confused, really confused.I wanna sleep thru all this.
[/Edited: Done with my first job.I regret quitting.Despite all that Sharon said, i still ended up quitting.But anyway thanks @Melanie @Vimalan @Dorothy @Hari @Sharon for telling me to endure.I'm sorry .. i just felt like giving up.But i've learnt a lot.About how to serve wine, take orders and such.I'll never forget this experience.I promise to persevere in my next job.I don't know how long am i gonna take before i find another job but the next time around, i'll not give up this easily.]
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
I fucking miss you.
So, today might be my last day blogging.Starting work tmr @Oosh.From 6pm to 12am.I wonder how is it gonna be like working but imma do my best, i wouldn't give up halfway.Gotta get up early in the morning to head to the bank to open a new account.I think my parents're afraid of me spending all the money in my old account thus they want me to open another account.Wouldn't be able to blog much since i'll be working for the next 5 days.I'm working on New year eve from 6pm to 12am and New year itself from 12pm to 7pm.Good uh? Cas i'm not in the mood to celebrate New year so i might as well work.
Say that i'm running away or what, i don't care.I don't think this is ever gonna work out.Call me stupid or silly but i still love you after all that you've put me thru.So what if i was the one who wanted to break-up.Never make a decision when your mind is in a mess.I fucking miss you.Each time i receive a message or call, i do pray that it's from you but .. i just have to accept reality eh? You're bent on doing this, right? Then why fucking confess to me in the first place? A says i should just message you but i don't know what to message you.I feel like just running away.You know .. i can't forget you.At times i just wanna call you up and tell you everything that's on my mind but something somehow stops me.Pride? Fear? I don't know.Just get out of my life for good.Why come back now and then? I had enough.I really had enough.
Not being emo but i just feel fed-up.I just feel like running away.I really do love you but when the fuck're you gonna understand that?! Don't freakin' say i'm the one who initiated the break-up.Yes, i'm the one but i've realised my mistake.You never know what you had till it's gone for good.I miss you.Last year, this time, we were really happy you know.Now? Sigh.
I think imma schedule a post or something for New year cas i'll be working.Planning to drink after that though but i'll be working on Saturday in the afternoon so imma not get myself drunk.Sigh bye.
Sunday, December 26, 2010
What's my name.
Xmas is over.New year up next!! Yes, the day i'm looking forward to.2011 is definitely gonna be way better cas imma be praying next year! To the church yo, hahaha.Alright, no promises but imma try, ok? :) Anyway today made a trip to Aunt's house @Boon Lay for some baby naming ceremony.It was good for i got the chance to catch up with the girls @Aniqah and @Nadeera.Sat down for a chat in the room which eventually turned into some discussion about a drama.From relationship to drama matters.Look at how we digress, hah! Anyway, duh, travelling back to Boon Lay brought back many memories.You know i know that i don't wish to talk about any of it.Left quite early and got back home before The champion started, thank god.Yes, imma Local Chinese drama freak :>
Anyway the year is nearing the end.Another year is about to begin in another 5 days' time.New friends, new environment, new problems, new relationships.Imma definitely say i'm not ready for a brand new year but i'm definitely looking forward! New year also means that results day is nearing.Nervous.Don't ask me my plans, i am nervous enough.Alright leave this aside.
Shopping plans for the coming week fixed! HAHA YES, shopping again! Anyway dad gave me a shock cas he said that it's alright if i can't get a job, he'll gimme the money.YAY BEST DAY MAN!!! HAHA.But anyway i've gotten a job i guess? Part time for now.Don't know when imma start though.Hopefully soon :) Bored to tears.Can't wait to get my new pair of contact lenses! Gray again as usual haha.And perhaps more clothes yeah? Ah omg, i can't wait.And The tourist, anyone? Clock shows 8:57PM and i'm already sleepy cas i got up really early.Sleeping at 6AM and waking up at 11AM doesn't feel good.Alright guess imma end here, xo.
I miss you.
Many reasons to why imma say this is the worst Xmas! Firstly, i wanted to head down to the church but i didn't cas i went drinking last night and the hangover in the morning made me feel terrible thus i slept in till late noon.Secondly, i was alright till i came across certain stuffs related to you and i was immediately reminded of last Xmas.I still remember every single event that happened last year.Thirdly, every reason imma list down now is gonna be related to you.You know what? I don't know why i'm finding it this hard to actually get over you.Yes, each day i'm telling myself that i'll pull myself together and that everything'll be fine .. someday.But at the end of the day, i'm just deceiving myself, you know? Last Xmas .. i still remember everything.Thank you for such good memories.
Don't ask me how am i gonna celebrate my New year cas i'm seriously not in the mood.New year isn't gonna be an exception.That alone would remind me of you too.I miss you, you get that?! I'm not able to tell anything to you cas of the way we are right now.Yes, it was all my fault from the start.I was so slipshod towards this whole thing but now? Yes, i wanted a break-up but it was just out of anger? Looks like this really wouldn't work out.
Not emo but i just feel so down.I just miss you a lil too much today.I don't know what'll happen on Jan 17.That date marks one year, you know? Nvm .. this will be ok.Nothing lasts forever, right? This .. will be ok, someday.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
Again and again.
2nd day of diet.Living on porridge and refraining from soft drinks ain't that bad at all.After all, it does feel good to lose weight, right? Imma don't deny, imma don't wish to hit above 45kg.Can't wait for Monday.Duh, to hit the tracks for a good run! HAHA.
Shopping and movie plans fixed for next week.I'm still wondering as to where imma end up for New year.Got the tickets for countdown @Marina Bay though.6 days to New year! :> Imma happy girl cas it's a brand new year.Anyway Happy Xmas! Got out last night.Had a good drink with 'em after so long.Not that drunk, just tipsy, hahaha.Something to attend tmr but i don't think imma go.I hate facing relatives you know? They always have something to gossip about me.What the fuck, since you're so free, go get a life please.Gossip and gossip.Not tired? Yes, i don't fucking follow my religion cas i don't believe in it.Tired of this, i wanna migrate! Haters everywhere.
Anyway received a piece of bad news earlier on.I think, the application is approved? Don't ask me what.Sigh i thought it wouldn't be approved.Ok uh, at least it's not Jurong.Alright enough about this.
Anyway sigh, as the new year nears, i'm getting more nervous.About results, duh! I'M MAD SCARED.I think .. i'm gonna fail? I've a bad feeling.I dreamt i got 17 ok.Sigh sad life :( Re-take? :( I don't know how uh, i'm just scared? Sigh.You know the expectations and all.Checked up about private education.One non-science subject @MDIS costs about 900 plus.That's quite .. affordable, right? Sigh i die.
End here, xoxo.
Why Jesus is greater than Santa Claus.
Santa lives at the North Pole. JESUS is everywhere.
Santa rides in a sleigh. JESUS rides on the wind and walks on the water.
Santa comes but once a year. JESUS is an ever present help.
Santa fills your stockings with goodies. JESUS supplies all your needs.
Santa comes down your chimney uninvited. JESUS stands at your door and knocks, and then enters your heart when invited.
You have to wait in line to see Santa. JESUS is as close as the mention of His name.
Santa lets you sit on his lap. JESUS lets you rest in His arms.
Santa doesn't know your name, all he can say is "Hi little boy or girl, what's your name?" JESUS knew your name before you did.
Not only does He know your name, He knows your address too. He knows your history and future and He even knows how many hairs are on your head.
Santa has a belly like a bowl full of jelly. JESUS has a heart full of love.
All Santa can offer is HO HO HO. JESUS offers Health, Help and Hope.
Santa says "You better not cry." JESUS says "Cast all your cares on me for I care for you."
Santa's little helpers make toys. JESUS makes new life, mends wounded hearts, repairs broken homes and builds mansions.
Santa may make you chuckle but. JESUS gives you joy that is your strength.
While Santa puts gifts under your tree. JESUS became our gift and died on a tree. Yes, from sin.He sets us free!
I agree with this :)
Thursday, December 23, 2010
I'm so fly.
So, i've been promised to receive a call in the next 3 working days to collect my phone.I better receive if not, there i go, i'll send in a complaint letter to Sony HQ.Yes, i'll do it.C'mon, it's coming 2 weeks in another what, 3 days' time? And i've yet to receive my phone.Sigh, this is really bad.I've to even cancel my plans cas of this.I'm not satisfied with this service.
Yesterday was awesome.Found that place :) Headed down for an interview and imma get back to them, probably by tmr, regarding the working hours.Feeling really tired now anyway.Imma suppose to sleep well last night cas i was freakin' worn-out but i think i was too tired to sleep.Couldn't sleep a wink all night.Sigh, i've yet to get a proper sleep this holiday! And omg, Xmas is in 2 days' time.I feel like heading to the Church? Yes, i want to! New year in 8 days' time? O-m-g, that's fast! Hopefully, 2011 is gonna treat me better! Please, 2010 has put me thru enough hell.
The clock shows 3:29PM.Bored to tears.And am i the only one who buys the Teenage magazine just for the horoscope part? HAHA.Accuracy, my horoscope is spot-on! Always. Hah but who cares? I wanna be single for some time, i'm neglecting whatever my horoscope said :) Sigh should have gone out but i think i've spent too much just this week.Imagine Orchard on Tuesday and Raffles on Wednesday.That equates to spending a amount that is .. omg.Sigh and omg, i had a dream last night that i got a L1R4 of 17.Omg 17 leh!!! Where the fuck am i to go with such a score?! Omg results day is nearing and i'm really scared.In like a week's time, it'll be 2011.Results should be in early Jan? Omg i die lah.Alright enough, end here.
[/Edited]: Clock shows 7:48PM.I've been rotting at home.Sigh, should have gone out instead.Needa get a new pair of contact lens.Sigh i am lazy.Like really lazy, sigh.Tmr is Xmas eve, Saturday is Xmas and i've a function to attend on Sunday.Imma b-u-s-y woman, lol.
Wednesday, December 22, 2010
Old time's sake.
The clock shows 1:00 AM.I seriously am stuck in my own world.Don't ask me why.I'm trying to get myself back on track but fuck, my body clock is so screwed.I might have been an owl in my past life, no? The boredom at this hour really kills me cas this hour is when everyone on Msn is quiet .. really quiet.I should have gone Powerhouse but damn, i'm tired! Really tired after walking all around Holland.
And oh, speaking about that, i'm the stupidest person in the world.I was suppose to ask the taxi driver to turn in but ended up going straight and thus i got lost in the end.Sigh how stupid can i get!! I realised that just when i was looking at the map earlier on cas i told them i'll be coming down tmr.Yes, again.But imma get a cab, duh! No buses or Mrt for me.Sigh, this quite sucks.Cas i just have to walk quite a distance before i reach that place.I should have continued walking, sigh.Lesson learnt.AND RAIN TMR PLEASE! :)
So, tmr @4pm, i've an interview.No, no Orchard after that please.I'm broke, close to broke.Movie plans on the 30th Dec.I still don't know who to ask.And my new year plans are still hanging in mid-air.I'll just pray the tickets for Marina bay don't get sold out fast or anything.I don't know where to head down this year for New year, sigh.SIGH MY GOD IT SUCKS WHEN SOME OF YOUR FRIENDS WANNA GO ATTICA AND THE REST WANNA GO MARINA BAY AND YOU'RE STUCK IN THE MIDDLE.
So, yes, i'm stuck in some sort of mess.Six months bet.For your sake, i need to do this.And oh, gosh, just realised today is S' birthday.No, imma not wish him.It's over ok.What's over is over, US is in the past.Now it's you and me.
Anyway i think imma mia from the blogging world for some time since there's nothing much to blog, xo.
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Said goodbye.
Hi, my life sucks.You're going to avoid me forever, right? Ok fine, i wouldn't bother myself about you either.I avoided you and now you're doing the same thing back to me.Tit for tat, right? But how long are you going to avoid me? I know it was really mean of me to avoid you and such but yeah you know, i was stuck in the middle and my life was in a mess but now that i'm trying to get my life back on track, you're doing this.Ok lah fine, go on.I'm sick and tired of this life.
My day was really bad.Yes, b-a-d.Was called down for an interview @Dempsey.The biggest mistake of mine is not knowing my way around Holland area.Ain't my fault, i don't frequent that place.But now i've learnt my lesson.No matter how ulu that place is, go down and tour that place at least once cas you don't know when that might come in handy.So i toured the whole area but failed to find that place.I feel so much .. like a tourist around that area.I wasted my money on a cab, even the cab driver didn't know.Sigh, sadgirl94.I wanted to call someone for help but i feel so bad disturbing him :( Sigh sad lor, i walked around for at least 2 hours before i gave up.I wanted to actually cry, can you believe that?! Crying for such a small thing .. sigh.The weather wasn't helping, the sun was killing me!! It's suppose to be raining, right?
And now i feel as though i just toured the whole Sg.I'm freakin' tired.Powerhouse tonight but i'm so tired that i can't even move around anywhere so i might as well stay at home :( Sigh sad life.
Monday, December 20, 2010
Nothing on you.
Hello, i'm so not satisfied.It's been exactly a week and i've yet to receive a call asking to collect my phone.Wth is this about? I'm seriously not satisfied.I mean, c'mon, aren't you suppose to be efficient? Sony leh.Even when i sent in my laptop for servicing, i got it back in a week.Vaio is also under Sony, right? Gosh, what is this about? I'm seriously disappointed.I'm going to scream the next time i call you up.I've no more patience.And plus, i can't even find their email to send them a feedback.HAHA, are you kidding me? GOSH, I'M FUMING MAD.
Alright, enough.I'm such a complain queen, i know, but c'mon, it's been a week.Grr, irritated! Life without my phone sucks.Thank god, i've my old phone if not how? I'll die.Had my worst morning.Couldn't even run 10 rounds, i was feeling tired cas i didn't sleep for the whole night.Sigh, this sucks.My body clock is screwed.I sleep in the morning/afternoon and i'm up all night? Wth, this is really bad.Sigh just got up a while ago.And i think i give up on finding job.The interview i went for, i'm suppose to wait for max 5 days and so tmr marks the 5th day, i give up hope lah.I'm like gonna touch my bank account savings at this rate.Sigh sad life ok.I NEED A MILLION YOU KNOW :( Why am i such a spendthrift.I'm even freakin' not clubbing cas of lack of money or i just refuse to spend on clubbing right now ok? And no Marina bay for the first time in my life for new year :( Maybe i go find newspaper and find job .. i'll try.I need money!!!
The clock shows 3:44PM.I've plans on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday.YA MORE MONEY GONE :( Sigh bye.
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Living behind these castle walls.
Last night wasn't my night.I've really bad moodswings.Ya but i swear to get myself off drinking and nightlife.I'll at least try to, doesn't feel good you know? I miss the innocent me.Sigh, this shouldn't be what i'm suppose to be doing.I just feel down? Upset? Sad? Fed-up? Disappointed.I've disappointed you from the very start.I turned out to be whom i'm not suppose to be.No, this year would be the last time i'm ever talking about you .. hopefully.2011, treat me better, will you? I'm sick and tired of always breaking up.Fuck, i need to change for the better.
Stay home Sunday.It's been exactly one week since i sent in my phone for servicing and i've yet to receive a call from them to collect my phone? Seriously wth right.Is the Sony HQ located in another planet or something since it's taking years to arrive at the service centre.Sigh this sucks ok.I'll eventually die from this.I sound so dramatic but ya it's been one good week.Call me by the coming week before i seriously call to scream at you!!!! :@ I've no patience.
Tmr's another week that's going to go past just like that.Xmas is around the corners, same goes for New year.Lost all the mood to celebrate.I'm gonna stay home? YA I WISH.I hate this, i hate everything that reminds me of you.Fml.
I'm already gone.
You know what, i think being dramatic runs in my blood.Last night, wait, it was on Friday night when the worst took place.Something which i didn't anticipate.I just had to grab the courage to do it but i've hurt you a lot in the process of this break-up.I feel bad, i feel guilty.It was a case of do or die.I had to do it if not this would just drag on leaving us both hurt in the end.Since there's no point carrying this on further, why should we? Got myself mad drunk and true uh, drunken words are spoken by sober hearts.I told you everything that has been weighing on my mind.Yesterday marked 1 year of knowing you.Look at how fast time flies by and look at how we have ended up.Some people are meant to cross each others' paths but they're not meant to be together .. our fate is sealed.I miss you .. i'm sorry.
Not emo, just had to blog it out.This is my space after all.Already gone, promise in the dark, no more and you're not sorry has been on repeat for god knows how many hours.The clock shows 1:37AM.My body clock is fucking screwed.Sleeping at 5am+ doesn't feel good.I don't know what am i gonna do for New year.Drink and drop dead? OK NO just kidding about that.Marina bay/Vivo, Zirca/Attica or stay home party? I don't feel like celebrating cause everything reminds me of you.I remember the first day of year 2010.I still do.Memories break us.Sigh, instead of heading to the club, i should head down to the church.I want peace, i want to pray.But i don't know who to drag along with me, sigh.Maybe just by myself.
I should force myself to sleep now.This is like such an emo post, i don't like this.I wanna get my life back on track for your sake.You know the kind of feeling when you just wanna runaway and never face anyone? I wanna migrate.Ok end here, xo.
Friday, December 17, 2010
Away from your heart.
The previous post wasn't an emo one.I was just typing it out for the sake of the Tumblr challenge i'm doing.Anyway it's been an awesome week with all that shopping and drama in between.Went down for an interview yesterday @ION.If everything goes well, i'll be contacted in the next 5 days if not, imma go look for another job.Was called down for another interview @Jurong today but unfortunately, since i'm waiting for the reply, i turned down that interview.
After that interview, went down for shopping with my friend @Orchard, duh! Haha, and seriously, the amount of money i spent yesterday left me satisfied on one hand but at the same time, sad cas i'm close to being broke.Don't ask me how much i spent.It's not good to have ION, 313, Orchard Central, Paragon, Wisma, Ngee Ann City, The centrepoint all in one area.Sigh i'm not going to shop for another one month, hopefully.But it feels good when you're in a bad mood and you need to spend money to get rid of that matter that's weighing on your mind, no?
Anyway i think i've been doing fine.Why should i cry, torture myself over you, someone who is no longer worth it? What S says is right, i should move on, i should get myself back on track and prove it to you that i can survive without you.I did it in the past so easily so what is it that is stopping me now."When god closes a door, he opens another." But what scares me is the fact that you'll come back, someday.You do that always and this time around it wouldn't be an exception, right? Since both of us are not willing to confess so why hold on.Doesn't make sense, right? [/Edited: I'm still thinking of you.I miss you so much.]
I know i sound so emo but this is it ok.I'll never think or talk about you ever again.My #Xmaswish is to get over you and start life anew :) Imma happy girl now! The clock shows 7:03PM and i should be going out but sigh, i ended up spending such a large amount yesterday that i've lost the mood to go out now.Feels boring staying at home with absolutely nothing to do.And oh, N'Level results out today.I hope everyone did well? Haha.Omg, next month is the release of O'Level results.I've planned out what imma do.If my results are alright, i'll opt for Poly/ Shatec if not i'll opt to re-take.I know certificates means a lot when it comes to employment and i don't wish to be counted as not up to expectations just cas of one certificate so i might as well re-take.Private O's please.I don't wish to have regrets, as simple as that.Sigh, bored to tears!
I'll just end here, xo.
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Meet me on the equinox.
Hello.Yay, received a call to attend an interview tmr @ION Orchard.The thought of ION excites me cas i can go shopping, all alone!! I need some time alone to think about stuffs that have been flooding my mind these days.Think about you, me and us.I should give up all this and move on.I want a new life! I've been thinking about it for the past few days.Do you think this is going to work out? In my opinion, even if it takes a million years, this wouldn't work out.But you made me fall so hard that i'm finding it difficult to move on.I don't know who'll replace you, i don't know who has it in them to replace you.Just know that it's not an easy task.Actually it's my fault.I took you for granted from the start.You don't deserve a girl like me.Sigh for the first time a break-up has made me so sad :( I miss you like hell, i don't know how am i gonna get thru the days ahead of me.Feels empty.Sometimes even when you've everything, you feel as though something's missing. Someone's presence, at times.I just miss you.
Alright enough.It's getting too personal.I've been tired of answering the same questions over and over again.I'll just declare myself as unofficially single, yeah?
Anyway i think imma get lost at ION tmr.Yes, i've been there 9539548394 times but my sense of direction is quite insertyourownwordhere thus imma sure to get lost.Anyway just pray pray i get the job or something cas at least then i'd have something to do and that'll keep me from thinking about you.The clock shows 7:03PM.Freakin' tired, i'm like dying.Why isn't it raining? *disappointed face* Anyway call me mad or what but Wedding dress, Unmyeong and What's my name has been on repeat for like god knows how many hours.And fuck my Msn, freakin' internet is having some kind of signal problem thus it keeps signing me outta Msn every hour or smtg, sigh.Wanted to watch A mobile love story but it loads so freakin' slow!! I no patience ok.End here, xo.
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
My love.
Tuesday.Got some numbers to call up, perhaps tmr.Absolutely nothing to do at home.The clock shows 4:58PM.Almost 30 minutes before my drama begins, heh! Had my morning exercise as usual.I think they've to renovate the place and get rid of those steep areas cas it's really difficult to run along that pathway and it definitely does damage to my stamina.But other than that i'm pretty fine with that area.Yet to reach 20 rounds so far.
Headed back home at around 8 plus.Was really tired from all the tossing and turning in bed last night thus i headed for my bed immediately after my shower.Believe it or not, my mind is mad active at night.I think a lot.It's like my brain is having a convo with itself? Yes, this sucks! At the rate imma go, i'll need sleeping pills or something.Sigh i want a normal, good sleep, please? *cries* Just got up a while ago and my head feels as though it's about to just drop or something.Cancelled all my plans for this/next week just to do some intensive job hunt.I can kill myself if i don't get a job.
Anyway this guy on Msn sort of made my day.Though i was asleep, my Msn status stated that i was online cas i'm lazy to change my status then this guy saw my PM and told me something that quite made my day.Haha, you cute manzzx.The way he said it, i can go aww :) HAHA.Anyway end here, xo.
Monday, December 13, 2010
Hello reality.
This sounds mad i know but i just deleted off my old posts yet again.I feel that i've too many memories that i need to delete off my mind thus my first step would be to delete off those posts and start life anew.I'm gonna face the harsh reality that you and i don't belong together.I wanna be a brand new person when year 2011 begins.I wanna put aside everything.
To side-track, been doing some intensive job hunt online since an hour ago, hah.I'm finally woken up from my long-term dream that my savings are not gonna last.By next month i'll be broke thus the need to find a job and perhaps, to occupy myself and get myself back on track! You know i'm kind of, somehow, starting to like you :) But i don't feel like telling you anything cas of my huge pride.Sucks! Am i going to let my happiness slip away from my hands again? I don't know, i don't wish to but we'll see.Why did you have to tell me whatever that has been on your mind? Sigh.You should have kept your feelings to yourself.
Anyway end here, imma get back to my job hunt and blackshot! I actually did resort to playing blackshot after so long cas i feel so frustrated.Fyeah, blackshot ftw!